Cranky Neighbors

When I first read the story of Elizabeth Edward’s allegedly mean gun-toting neighbor, my first thoughts of an old man storming out of his front door and charging the interlopers which had come into his driveway.

Woe is me to assume that the Edward’s actually live in a “house” which lies on a road with a house directly across from it. John and Elizabeth have taken up 102 acres (the Vatican is 108.7 acres) of property and have placed a quaint 28,200sqft abode in the middle of the sprawling landscape.

Elizabeth worries that her children could wander into the offending neighbor’s drive and be assaulted by the cranky old man with a gun. Just one thing, depending on where the house sits on the Edward’s property her children would have to walk at least 1.5 to 3.4 miles through the densely wooded countryside to make it to the property line.

Now Monty Johnson, the afore mentioned cranky neighbor who had the unfortunate luck to have the Edwards move “next door” had lived on his families land for decades. Quietly not doing much of anything to mention Monty pretty much minded his own business. Now he has to face the reality that his property taxes are going up due to the fact that a building worth at least 6 million dollars has been built in semi-close proximity to his mobile home. Perhaps Monty could build a golf course, Ritz Carlton hotel or an exact reproduction of the Taj Mahal to better suit the changing neighborhood. That may entice the Edward’s over for tea and crumpets.

I would suggest to Monty that he stick it out for 8 months or so. Then he can have the satisfaction that John Edwards never made it through the Democratic primary and as a goodwill gesture Monty should install a tissue dispenser at the front of his driveway in the likely event of John or Elizabeth needing some.