Countdown to the Presidential Election

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Oppositon Research Goes Way Back These Days

The people working for the queen-in-waiting are sure dedicated in their quest for dirt. Team Hill got the goods on Obama by finding out that he wrote a paper in kindergarten on how he wants to be President.

I imagine the paper went something like this:

"I wunt to be puesident becus it wood bee kool to fwly arund the wrld and sea so many diffurent peoples."

the end.

Wow, that was a scandalous find by Team Hill. I bet if they dug deeper they may find a sinister looking finger painting by Barack or even worse... He stayed awake at nap time!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

And a Drivers License in Every Pot

I still can be befuddled by what our "wise" politicians think any idea is actually a good idea.

Let's take this week's punching bag, drivers licenses for illegal aliens, for example.

Now if you are lucky enough to make your way (illegally) from Mexico to the Great state of New York you may soon be able to get the privilege to drive on our nation's great road system (which you did not pay for.) That being said you may have an accident and go to the hospital and receive medical care (which you will not pay for.) Then having been disabled you can apply for government benefits (which you don't contribute to) and then you can recover at home while your children go to a local school (which you don't pay for.)

Damn this is a pretty sweet deal where do I sign up...

Oh yeah I am here legally so I actually pay taxes to pay for the roads, schools, and government programs that take care of those who like to sponge off our country from the shadows.

Friday, October 26, 2007

MO Fundraising Part Deux

It has been a few weeks since I posted on how MO donors are sitting on their hands when it comes to donating to the various Republican campaigns. I have pulled the latest numbers and unfortunately nothing has changed.

Looking up campaign contributions for zip code 65804 (Springfield, MO) the only real activity was on the democratic side and hardly any donations went to the GOP field.

The contributions going directly to GOP Presidential candidates is only $5,350.

Romney        $3,100

Guliani            $1,000

McCain            $1,050

Paul            $200

For democratic candidates the total $17,950

Obama            $4,050

Clinton            $10,950

Edwards        $1,350

Richardson    $800

Biden            $400

Kucinich     $400

Hillary was the clear winner by raising almost $10,000 last quarter. I must admit that these GOP numbers are incredibly pathetic. The cost of this Presidential election will be in the hundreds of millions of dollars and raising 1000 bucks from a zip code that used to donate heavily to Presidential campaigns is not going to cut it.

A note to the voters and hopefully contributors: If you have not noticed the first caucuses and primaries will be here before you pack away your Christmas tree for the year. The GOP field is not the greatest, but it is too late for fresh blood to enter and it really is time to decide on the one you want and start working to help your candidate.

If nothing changes looks like the GOP base may just roll over, die and let Queen Hillary assume the Presidency.

Data provided by

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Dems Dis the Turks

One of the biggest arguments that the dem's have against Bush is that "America's status around the world has declined since Bush came to office."


I don't recall a foreign ambassador being recalled for something Bush has done, but the democratic led house sure achieved that feat yesterday.

A resolution calling a WWI event in Turkey genocide passed committee last night and that event alone has the Turkish Ambassador flying home for consultations with his government.

I just don't understand why the dems verbally abuse and attack our friends and allies while taking summer trips to nations like Syria, Venezuela and other bastions of freedom and liberty around the world.

Monday, October 8, 2007

What Do Missouri Conservatives Think About the GOP Field?

The short answer might be give me another candidate.

I thought it may have been only I that found the current field of GOP Presidential candidates were pretty bland, but after snooping around on the net I do not think I am alone.

I did a campaign finance search on the zip code 65804 (Springfield, MO). In the 2004 election cycle this zip donated $227,145 to various GOP candidates and associates just over $50,000 of that went to the George W. Bush campaign. In that same cycle $154,230 went to democratic candidates and associates with $24,000 of that total going to the Kerry camp. With that kind of action I think I can assume that this zip leans to the right.

Now jump to today.

Excluding 3Q numbers which will be made available online next week this is what is going on in 65804.

The GOP related contribution total so far is $58,620, but the contributions going directly to Presidential candidates is only $3,950.

Romney    $2,100

Guliani        $1,000

McCain        $650

Paul        $200

For the democratic side the overall total is $16,022 and direct to a particular candidate totals $6,450

Obama        $3,800

Clinton        $1,000

Edwards    $750

Richardson    $500

Biden        $400

It is not that the GOP donors are not donating anything. Sen. Bond brought in $14,450 and Congressman Roy Blunt brought in $35,000 during the same period. This kind of lackluster fundraising by the GOP candidates really shows the cavernous gap between the dems and GOP. When or more importantly who will close this divide is anyone's guess at this point.

Next week I will pull the numbers again. The new set will include the 3Q receipts and we will see if any of the candidates have caught the eye of some of Missouri's biggest GOP donors.

Data provided by

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Election is Over, Everyone Go Home

Yes, folks via the polling method the election seems to have been called and Hillary is the winner, but before Hillary dons a diamond tiara and begins to run the country into the ground we should remember one thing she still has to win via an election… you know those things where you go and actually vote for someone.

Some on Team Hillary may think that election thing is a minor detail, but I will even go out on a limb and say that Hill will not even get the primary votes needed to run for President in 2008.

Remember a couple of points:

For all of the money that Princess Hillary has she will spend a ton of it in the primaries against her democratic opponets.

She still is as polorizing as a nice pair of sunglasses.

Her squashing of unflattering stories in the print media does not go over well with the media.

So let's wait and see what happens, I think you and Hill will be very surprised.

Monday, September 24, 2007

iBugle Sept 14, 2007 to Sept 21, 2007

We all can bury this stupid idea of having an electric bugle churn out Taps at military funerals. Last Friday Gov. Blunt basically ordered the Guard to reinstate this honor at funeral services.

I would really like to know who signed off on this policy in the first place.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Some Things Should Not Change

Last week I heard on the radio that Taps would no longer be played by a bugler for burials a Jefferson Barracks Cemetery (Click Here), rather the rendition of Taps will be played via electronic device which is embedded inside a fake bugle which would be held by a person acting like they were performing Taps.

This is just the most ridiculous and demeaning way to save a buck that I have ever heard. The reason for this "new policy" is budget constraints due to the war. I don't believe that excuse for a second. Somewhere there is some bureaucrat that decided he didn't want this to continue. I know it wasn't a politician's idea, because suggesting or endorsing this would be political suicide.

Put simply this is government at its worst.

I would like to see how many generals, admirals or colonels want this iPod/bugle thing played at their funerals.

I would also like to ask our political leaders if they could scrap a pointless pet project and fund a program that should have never been cut in the first place.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Hardball Can Finance This!

So I was plowing through web pages looking for something to write about and lo and behold I saw this on Hardball with Chris Mathew's website:

And this (at the bottom of the site):

There were no less than 4 ads to refinance your house at rates to insane to believe!

Perhaps the media should stop running stories of the subprime market meltdown until they remove the ads that are causing the mess in the first place.

Oh and here is a MSNBC report from 9/7 on "misleading" ads by lending companies.

Back to Politics as Usual

I am finally glad to talk again about the world of politics and not the creepy bathroom habits of elected officials.

Let's start out with MoveOn's hit ad on Gen. Petraeus. Not only did MoveOn make themselves look like a horse's ass by slamming a man who really has served his country for over 30 years, but to do it in a very public way via the NYT. (That's New York Times for those of you that have a life.) You see if you want to get your message across do it in the, "Paper of Record." Not only did the lefty group slam the General, they also did it at a good price. It seems to be that the NYT cut the group some slack to the tune of $100,000 or 60% off newsstand prices.

So let's play a game: I will come up with some alternative lines for some of the democratic candidates as if I were writing an ad piece.

Hillary Clinton or Hillary Capitulation? Only she can tolerate the avid "habits" of her husband for so many years.

Barack Obama or Barack I'll Bomb Ya? Only he has said that he will unilaterally bomb sovereign countries to take out terrorists.

John Edwards or John … who cares he won't win anything.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

1 of 4 Dictators Likes Hillary for Pres

As of today we can move Fidel Castro into the I heart Hillary column for the Presidential race. That's a ringing endorsement from a man who has ordered the deaths of countless Cubans and nearly started an all out nuclear war between the U.S. and the old Soviet Union.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Is the Capitol Covered in Lead Paint?

When it rains it pours and I don't think we can blame it on global warming. Today Alberto Gonzales was either fired or resigned. I really don't care at this point because his effectiveness at being anything was over months ago.

After returning home not more than 10 minutes into Hardball, yeah I watch Hardball, they broke the story of Sen. Larry Craig (yes he's Republican) was apparently busted in a men's bathroom doing something I really don't want know the details in any form.

Lets add Craig to the growing list of GOP idiots (see Roger Stone), Perverts (see Foley) and utter morons (see Gonzales or Brown) of people that need to be found out and run out of the Republican party and not asked to return.

Really, what could be the next GOP scandal? Could it be that a GOP politician will get busted on Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" show or could it be a congressman running a international drug ring out of his office?

These sleazy and just plain stupid politicians have to go before they all but destroy the party's already slim chances for a victory next year.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Note to World Leaders: Keep Your Shirts On

Whilst cruising the net I thought I had stumbled onto a web page of ill repute.

Now I am savvy enough that there is a severe difference between and, but I was confused on what I thought should have been a news site (Click Here) and (Here).

Apparently this must be a new fad with leaders around the world. Go out to some nature preserve, take off your shirt and do something manly like fishing, boating or lumberjacking.

Now maybe these guys were taking a cue from Obama (Click Here) or they were just exercising their inner metro for a day. Whatever the reason I wish it would stop. Pasty white and generally squishy politicians do not make good runway models. I don't need or want to see the likes of Stephen Harper, Tony Blair, or Kim Jun Il prancing around in Speedos.

So I plead to the leaders of world. Please stop blinding us and keep your shirts on!

How Stupid Can You Be?

If you think that you can call an 83 year old man and leave a venomous voicemail recording regarding his son (who happens to be a Governor) you are Stupid with a capital "S".

Roger Stone, a highly placed and prominent GOP affiliated consultant (you can roll your eyes at this point.) Did just that with the father of New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer.

Click Here for the recording.

Apparently Mr. Stone must have played with lead painted toys in the past to actually think this was a good idea. What is worse is that Stone said someone must have broken in to his home and made the call to frame him.

As much as I like to use democrats for verbal punching bags, I can't ignore the rabid stupidity of what this guy did.

Here are a few hints for all of you wana be political wonks out there:

  1. Tape recorders and politics do not mix!
  2. Don't talk trash to someone's parents.
  3. Don't say, "I was framed!" when you get caught for being stupid.

If you follow these few rules and don't do anything else that can be construed as remarkably stupid, you can play in the political sandbox.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Why the Hiatus?

If the 3 to 5 people that read this blog are wondering why I have not posted anything in the last month well here is the reason.

A couple of months ago I found out that I will be having my first child and I have been busy rearranging our condo to accommodate the arrival of the little one. On top of that I have been taking summer classes at the local CC (that is community college for those of you in the Ivy league.)

Don't fret I will be mashing out some blogs shortly.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Pardon Moi

Now before all of the self described libs out there get too bent out of shape about the clemency for Scooter Libby let me remind everyone of the Clinton pardon of Mark Rich.

Mr. Rich, who apparently was represented by Scooter (small world) ran from the U.S. before his trial for millions in unpaid taxes. At least Scooter was man enough to stick around for his trial.

Now let's take a look at the lives of Scooter and Rich:

Scooter's life is ruined, now being a felon he will lose his law license and will have to pay a 250k fine back to the government. His professional life as he knows it is over and he will have to start all over somewhere else, with the approval of his parole officer.

On the other hand, Rich's life is still pretty sweet. Rich is still loaded with lots of money from commodity trading and he has not a even a blemish on his record (the pardon took care of that). I am not sure if he has repaid the government or if he has step foot back into this country. If someone knows his whereabouts I'd like to hear it.

As for Bush granting the clemency, I'm glad that Bush will at least give the press a chance to grill him on his decision rather than trying to sneak the clemency through in the middle of the night hours before he leaves office.

So if you want to wave Scooter's name around and rant about the wrong that was committed by this act, I will wave Rich's name right back at you and I'll know this clemency was a fairer act than Clinton's pardon.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Edwards Can't Take a Pundit?

If John Edwards wants to play President he will need to learn how to handle the mountain of criticism that will come with the job.

Take for example Ann Coulter's remarks about John getting killed by terrorists. That remark really was low-ball and as I would say it doesn't advance the political dialogue in any meaningful way, but did it require a call from Mrs. Edwards to Hardball to ask her to stop?


Does John really think that all of this criticism will stop when he becomes President? As President you are going to be criticized 24/7 for at least 4 years straight. Think of all the bad press and commentary that Bush gets on a daily basis. Have you ever heard Laura Bush call up Hardball, Olbermann or Air America to ask them to be not so hard on her poor husband? Heck no.

John really needs to grow a couple and get on with the process of losing his second run for President.

P.S. Now that I have been hard on John does that mean Elizabeth is going to call me and ask me to stop?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Michael Moore Wants the Govt to be Even Bigger

Mr. Moore's latest movie lauds the positive qualities of state run health care. Yes, your health will now be in the hands of bureaucrats. Possibly the same ones who can't process U.S. Passports in a timely manner and who blew the Katrina recovery effort.

I always find it funny how we get compared to countries around the world. Cuba's stellar health care system cares for only 11 million people. The U.S. health care system serves just over 300 million people. The often noted Canadian system covers 33 million. The U.S. population and what we demand for quality health care would swamp any government system overnight.

What is worse is that this state system would be at the mercy of Washington. I can imagine that the gridlock and wasteful spending in D.C. will only complicate a monstrous and balky health care program. What would happen if a state run health care system got caught up in a D.C. style budgetary showdown and had to close due to lack of funding? That would be super as long as you don't get injured or sick. Also, would new medical treatments need Congressional approval before being approved for use?

As I see it the Federal government can barely operate as it is right now and I do not want a health care system to just, "barely operate," as well. We have a great system where almost any ailment can be treated to some extent if not cured outright. This feat has been accomplished through decades of progress and innovation and without government control.

Lets keep it that way.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Howard Dean, the Primary Defender or the Florida Hater

Howard Dean loves his primaries except for the one in Florida. If you don't know or care to know Florida has jumped their primary to Jan 29th of next year instead of holding the primary on Feb 5th.

Why wouldn't Florida want to hold it's primary on the 5th? Because there will be at least 22 other states holding primaries or caucuses on that same day. Why be lost in the crowd when you can be in the spotlight the week before the rest?

This move has apparently upset the Deanster and he has already blacklisted all democrats from campaigning in the Sunshine State. Now Howard has reduced Florida's primary to straw poll status (straw polls are meaningless and are only used to gauge opinion.) Now what law did Dean pass to accomplish this? None he just said so. For a party whose motto is, "count every vote," this seems a little two-faced, but remember we are talking about the leaders of the democratic party.

So the moral of this story is that it is OK to ignore votes, just as long you ignore the entire state while you are doing it.

Wi££iam J€₣₣€r$on

Wi££iam J€₣₣€r$on is such a work of art, but so are his colleagues. How does a Congressman get a nickname of "Dollar Bill?" My guess is that ol' Will was a money whore, but I'm only guessing.

I would love to know why Jefferson requested a personal National Guard escort to his home while the rest of New Orleans was drowning in filth. Could it be he didn't want his cash to smell like rotten meat?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Perky Pelosi

Given the current attitude toward the U.S. military by the democratic led Congress i.e. "Your our bi**hes." This shouldn't come as big of a surprise.

House Majority Leader Pelosi now wants the military, "which is stretched thin," as described by her to tote around the kids of Congressmen/women free of charge.

That's not even the best part. If poor Pelosi feels like she can't make a trip due to a cold, one of her kids can go in her place "to fulfill the protocol needs of the official trip." Click here (end of 3rd paragraph)

This policy is just super. Now we will be paying for non-elected officials flying around the world and having them act as if they were elected.

Since Pelosi wants this to be reality she should also allow the member's kids to vote on the Floor of the House and also hold committee positions as well.

Sen Reid Waiting for His 12 Foot Pole to Arrive

Photo courtesy of AFP

The Dems New Strategy for Iraq

Have you been asking yourself, what will the dems do next on Iraq? Well the short answer is place blame on U. S. generals. In a recent interview with liberal bloggers Sen. Harry Reid called Marine Gen. Peter Pace, "Incompetent." Click Here

Sen. Reid is really setting a great political tone in D.C. these days by saying such remarks. I'd like to know in what chapter of Tzun Zu's Art of War does it say to denigrate your military commanders when the mission is getting rough.

That being aside the next step to resolve the Iraq issue is to vote. Yes kids the Senate will start voting later this year on all sorts of Iraq related issues. These votes are not meant to solve anything, but only meant to be brought up in the next election cycle in some slick campaign ad.

I have to say when I think the dems just can not outdo themselves on Iraq they go and outdo themselves once more. The dems are weak on this war as the day is long and if they gain the White House next year expect to see a Somalia-like pullout by U.S. forces and an Al-Qaeda victory parade rolling down the streets of Baghdad soon after.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

How Bad is This Immigration Bill?

A) It makes prohibition look like good idea.

B) It makes the last immigration bill look good.

C) It's gonna cost some politicians some of their jobs next year.

D) All of the above.

I have to say that this bill sucks, but why does it have to suck so bad. The words immigration and reform go together like peanut butter and jelly.

I can not explain to you why any politician wants to give amnesty out to millions of people who broke the law to be here in the first place.

I would like to ask the powers at be why are they pandering to all of the illegals instead of paying attention to the legal citizens who elected them in the first place.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Dem Candidates Debate Who is the Biggest Pansy

The crowded and convoluted field of democratic candidates sparred over the weekend in an effort to convince their base that he or she was the biggest pansy of them all.

Sen Clinton seemed to be the least pansy by voting for the Iraq war way back in 2003 and not apologizing for it.

Coming in at medium rare pansy is John Edwards. He like Clinton voted for the Iraq war when he was in the Senate, but he has since renounced his vote and now wants the troops out ASAP.

Winner of the stone cold uber pansy award is Barack Obama. He has never supported the Iraq war and would retreat from the war zone as soon as he becomes President.

How could one not just be in awe in front of such leadership?

Friday, June 1, 2007

Hillary's Dream for America

A spell checker for those stump speech billboards.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Cindy Sheehan Calls it Quits

After a few years and tonnes of PR Cindy Sheehan is hanging up the towel.

After such a long run of anti-war protests what has she accomplished?

Not much.

Her first goal of meeting Bush and changing his mind on Iraq policy was never accomplished.

After sitting in a drainage ditch in Crawford, Texas she moved on to greener pastures i.e. Congress. There she was able to assist in the democrat takeover of Congress in '06. This takeover really can't be called a victory because all of the newly elected "anti-war" democrats decided to fund the war rather than not fund the war. I bet that burned.

She purchased a 5 acre spread in Crawford to be used as a peace camp, hippie commune or coffee shop. Now the land is up for sale and the poor little hippie folk won't have a field to sleep in anymore.

I do feel somewhat sympathetic towards Cindy. Her message was with merit, but corrupted by those around her. When she called the democrats to task on the Iraq funding the liberal blogoshpere lit into her like it was no one's business. The big D's in the democrat party used her as a pawn and now that they are done with her she will be treated like trash.

Friday, May 25, 2007

What the Flak is Going on Around Here?

Yeah, I said I was on vacation, but I haven't left yet.

Well if you have ever wondered how Obama is on national defence the answer would be weak.

The big O voted no to fund our troops in Iraq. That is no money for food, gas or anything else that our troops need to function in Iraq. I will never claim to be a military mastermind, but I think not funding the military leads to a few problems.

Maybe Obama's plan is to have the military use spitwads against the bad guys, but they still need funding to buy the paper and straws.

Does Obama think by being a coward will lull the terrorists into surrender?

I would really like to hear what Barack has to say regarding a comprehensive plan on the war on terrorism.

I will bet that redeployment (A.K.A retreat) will be mentioned a lot.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

There be a New Hypocrite in Town!

I knew this would happen, but I didn't know it would be this easy. Pictured to the left courtesy of Time Magazine is a photo of Al gore working hard in his office to save the world from certain destruction.

Or is he?

It looks to me that this is the absolute worst office to save the world from.

Let's start with the desk. We can't really see it because of the thick layering of papers across the surface. If we were to drill for a core sample we should be able to determine how many trees were killed in order to achieve this marvelous feat.

Next is the broad expanse of no less than what appears to be 3, 30 inch apple HD displays. These puppies consume up to 150W each. I hope Al uses some sunscreen these three bad boys should give him a nice tan when in use.

Next up is Al's nifty plasma TV. According to the average plasma consumes 328W of power when in use.

Last is the trash/recycling bin which is located in the bottom left hand corner of the photo. It is EMPTY. Don't try to tell me that Joe the janitor popped in to empty the can just before the photo was taken.

It looks to me that Al is doing everything he can to consume as much power as possible while he works to save the world.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Murtha Sets the New Tone in DC

So you ask, what is the new tone in DC these days? Well if you ask Rep John Murtha - D, PA the new tone is threatening a colleague on the house floor.

If you ever want to really get a Congress person's blood boiling you have got to mess with his or her money (BTW this money is actually ours).

That being said, Murtha snuck a 23 million earmark into the bloated U. S. budget to fund a drug intelligence center in Murtha's district. When Republican Mike Rogers from MI called him out on the earmark that is when the floor fireworks show began.

While on the House floor Murtha walked over to Rogers and lit into him for his actions.

“I hope you don’t have any earmarks in the defense appropriations bills because they are gone, and you will not get any earmarks now and forever,” said Murtha. Quoted from Oh, and by the way that type of threatening language is a big no-no for members of the House.

If you think Murtha is just blowing off steam he does sit on the Appropriations Committee where he could really mess with funding requests from Rogers.

Now I have always thought Murtha is pretty much a jerk, and this type of behaviour only proves my suspicions. The threats, shouting and intimidation will only go so far for Murtha. At some point Murtha will need bi-partisan help and at that point the Republicans should tell Murtha where to stick it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

The DNC Welcomes Evangelicals

If Howard Dean wants to welcome Evangelicals into the fold of the democrat party (Click Here), then perhaps they should at least mention the passing of Rev. Jerry Falwell on the DNC website (Click Here).

Perhaps the web team is out yucking it up at the Playboy Mansion.

Dean Travels Like a Rock Star!

It must be nice being king, emperor, grand exalted one or whatever Howard Dean likes to call himself on a daily basis.

Dean gets to jet set around the country and hang out at some of the swankiest places. Here is a short list:

June 11th Grand Sierra Resort, Reno (Click Here) $275 for a Petite Suite

May 11th Palace Hotel, San Fransisco (Click Here) $489 for a Superior Suite

May 1st Parrot Jungle Island, Miami (Click Here) This is not a hotel, but hey a guy has got to relax.

I'll keep an eye on where Dean will pop up next. I bet it won't be a Red Roof Inn.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Barack Thinks He is Running Against Bush

I think I may have been sucked into some sort of alternate dimension. Barack Obama keeps bringing up George W. Bush as if he were to run against W. in 2008 (Click Here).

Now to be somewhat fair to the big O all of the democrat Presidential candidates seem to love to talk about how bad Bush is for this country, but since Barack is at the top of the heap I'm going to pick on him.

Here is my advice.


That also goes for the rest of the lame-o-tastic candidates running for the democratic nod for President.

Now if my use of all caps, bold and the use of three exclamation marks did not get the message across, you may just never get it.

When it occurs to the dems that Bush is not running for President in 2008 they will have to scrap over 8 years of material. Such over-often used cliches like: oilman, Haliburton, Texas, cowboy diplomacy, and how could I not mention hubris will all be gone.

Now that we all understand that Bush is not running in 2008 which democratic candidate will make it through a campaign speech without mentioning Bush? If anyone thinks that will happen I have the deed to the Golden Gate Bridge to sell you.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Barack the Bashful

Oh how I can remember back in 2002 that former Attorney General John Ashcroft's staff partially covered some "showy" statues for a presser at the Justice Department (Click Here). The press poked fun at the former AG about the matter and some said it was censorism (Click Here).

Jump forward to 2007 where a certain democratic Presidential candidate named Barack Obama has removed a couple of paintings from an art gallery before a campaign stop (Click Here). One of the artworks was of Brittany Spears getting out of a car (that is the polite way to describe it). The other piece was of a rather bold t shirt which pertained to old Honest Abe (that is another polite way to describe the painting).

If someone on his staff thought this setting was inappropriate, then perhaps they should have gone to another location to have the ice cream social, pancake dinner or whatever was going on that night.

Short Term Funding Disorder

Congress seems to have succumbed to a new and quite possibly disastrous disease.

Short Term Funding Disorder

STFD for short occurs when Congress can only fund a slice of government for only two months at a time. This appears to be happening with the Iraq war funding. Congress thinks that by only funding a war two months at a time will improve the situation and return our troops home sooner.

What genius thought this one up?

What message does this send to our allies? I'll tell you what the message is that is being sent.

Our government is weak and indecisive on this war on terrorism. The only person that is not is Bush, and no one listens to him anymore - not even some Republicans. If the U.S. is unwilling to pursue this war then our allies will not stick their necks out to pursue this war either. Are we to give a huge victory to Al-Qaeda in Iraq as well as a safe haven inside a shattered and chaotic country?

To be honest I think we will still have troops in Iraq for at least two more years. That will be at least 8 more half-hearted funding measures which only goes to benefit the morale of our enemy .

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Is it 10 or 10,000?

Don't you just hate numbers? Those pesky little things have a habit of making someone look really stupid.

This time the accursed digits landed into the speech of Presidential hopeful Barack Obama. He was making reference to the horrible Greensburg tornado where, at last count 12 people lost their lives. Instead of saying 10 (politicians like to round numbers) he spat out that 10,000 people had lost their lives.

Now the big O said it was hot, he was tired, and Godzilla was in the back row making funny faces at him which led to the slip-o-the-tongue.

Well Barack, as President getting your numbers right the first time is important. Will he as President misstate the US budget by over 1000x? Will he address 100,000 sitting US Senators? Will he protect all 50,000 states?

Perhaps a game of Sudoku between stops will sharpen his number skills up.

Edwards Wants to be the Next President Not to Solve Poverty

"If elected President, I will end poverty."

How many times have we heard this statement? In 1964 LBJ launched the first salvo across the bow of this beast and ever since no President has ever solved, won, eradicated or defeated this issue.

If Edwards is elected President (and I doubt if that will happen) he will be the next President not to solve poverty.

What is the new solution to poverty? I'll tell you it's not, "lets throw more money at it." What magical fix does Edwards have up his french-cuffed sleeves? Could it involve taxes? Probably.

My thought is poverty will always exist no mater what you try to do to fix it. There are just some people who don't want to or can't work.

So lets go all out... if the next Pres can solve these problems: poverty, Middle East peace, high oil prices, illegal immigration, drug use and violence in media. He can be President for Life

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

A Disaster is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Democrats seem to enjoy linking a natural disaster to politics these days. Gore links Katrina to Global Warming and now Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas links the lack of National Guard equipment to the Iraq war.

Here is an idea how about politicians link a natural disaster to some form of action rather than some meaningless political spin.

Is Kansas so strapped for equipment that a bulldozer in Iraq can't be replaced with something similar from another town? How many contractors in Kansas would gladly offer their heavy equipment to help clear the debris?

What kind of equipment would they need? Here is a short list: chainsaws, dump trucks, wood shredders and recyclers. I really doubt that the Kansas National Guard has few if any of these items.

Perhaps Gov. Sebelius could stop mouthing off to the press, pick up the phone and round up some equipment from nearby communities.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Howard Dean and Insane Go Together Well

Well what does a political blogger do on a slow news day? You Google news search Howard Dean's name. This time the Deanster has landed in the Great State of Florida to expound his "superior" knowledge of immigration reform.

He starts off by bashing the troops in Afghanistan for not being able to find a 6'4" terrorist. That's a reference to Bin Laden if you don't know. Really, Dean's prep staff should keep his talking points more organized.

His next point and this is his first one on immigration states, "imagine what will happen to our economy?" in reference of having all 12 million illegal immigrants leaving the country at once. Really if that were to happen I bet it would be a glorious day. In reality I doubt all would have to make a run for the border. Why can't they stop by the Mexican embassy, it is technically sovereign Mexican territory.

The next point came from Carlos Pereira an immigrant advocate. He said factories depend on immigrants for cheap labor. Wait a second, shouldn't all factory jobs be high paying union jobs? Also if these illegals were legal wouldn't they get paid at least the minimum wage?

Next up is fear cause you can't be a democrat and not mention the word fear or soupline in a sentence. I doubt all 12 million illegal immigrants live in fear of being deported back to Mexico or wherever. Really this is the same border where a mariachi band, an elephant and a Congressional candidate repeatedly crossed without impunity. (Click Here)

Last was the mention of a voter registration drive. I hope that they don’t sign up any illegals. This action by the DNC may upset the felon voting block of the party.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Obama the Bad Guy?

Well here is a surprise I wasn't going to vote for Obama or any Democrat for president next year. However Obama's campaign stunt with a loyal volunteer, Joe Anthony would have really put me off for sure. The big O's camp thought they would yank Joe's MySpace page which has been faithfully maintained to the benefit of Obama.

This isn't some hack site either. Joe managed to get 160,000 friends listed on his page. That is pretty impressive considering I have 3 friends and one of those is the T.V. show Talk Soup (Click Here).

Here is a tip for the various campaigns out there. Don't dump on the little people that help you out. While the big guys or lady are jet setting around the country, hundreds if not thousands of what you would call peons work their butts off by making calls, stuffing mail and walking in parades all to benefit their candidate.

So here is a new slogan, "A candidate is as the campaign does." So wait for Obama to dump on you whether you have helped him or not.

Protest in the Lou

I was mildly annoyed this morning to read that there would be a protest outside of Sen Bond's office here in St. Louis and no one invited me!

Well after work today I grabbed my camera and went to clicking.

This afternoon was pretty miserable with rain and wind. However these conditions did not keep some 30ish people from coming out to protest of all things the Bush veto pertaining to the Iraq war funding bill.

Well here are a couple of points of mine. The thought of being safe here at home does not really ring true since 9-11. Burying our heads into sand, dirt or lattes does not stop the bad guys i.e. terrorists from killing us these days.

Here is an idea. What if Congress would write a bill that would fund our troops in Iraq and then load it up with pork bribes so that it is sure to pass and then demand that all troops be pulled out by a certain date which supersedes the President's power. Wait a moment I think that idea has already been used.

For all of the posturing in the last few days what has been accomplished? For starters all of the major democrats on Capitol Hill are enjoying their newly enlarged egos. The house leadership has no bill ready to fund the troops in Iraq anytime soon. Our troops in the field are probably scratching their heads trying to figure out what the hell is going on in Washington these days.

A Two Faced Congress

What I hate most are politicians that are two faced cowards.

Here is why.

Citation from S965 (Link Here)

Pg 27

1 (1) SENSE OF CONGRESS.—It is the sense of
2 Congress that—

10 (ii) strengthening the authority of
11 Iraqi commanders to make tactical and
12 operational decisions without political
13 intervention;

Why does our military have to be beholden to the whims of Congress while at the same time the Iraqi military commanders should be free from Iraqi political intervention?

Congress has to stop and rethink what is important. What is important is that we can leave Iraq as a stable and peaceful country. By removing our own commander's authority to operate will not accomplish anything except for chaos.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

For All of the Socialists Out There... Happy May Day!

This is the day of the year where all socialists come together (sometimes at gunpoint) and celebrate May Day. How does one celebrate this special day? One could roll thousands of poorly trained and ill equipped troops down Main Street. If the military theme does not suit your tastes you can steal, I'm sorry "nationalize" 60% of an industry. Venezuela is doing just that this very moment with the international oil companies.

So go out and prop up your half-dead aging dictators and wave a flag for your party and have yourself a wonderful May Day!

Mystery Link Roundup

It is the first of the month and I will make visible all of the previous Mystery Links. If you have missed one or need to go back and get an old link again here is your chance!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Stop the Presses! The DNC Doesn't Like the Press Either!

I was just about to write a blog about Howard Dean, or his apparent disappearance off of the face of the Earth. Well, he just popped up in an article saying that the Press should not be around when politicians speak (Click Here).

Why shouldn't the press be around? Dean's answer is politicians fear that the press will twist their words around in the race for network profits. To blow that line of thought out of the water, half of the Press doesn't even get paid these days. YouTube and Blogging don't pay all that well, but lots of people watch and read these outlets because they can be the most unfiltered sources out there.

Why should he or any democrat be afraid of the Press? Any politician craves free press it is like a drug for them. The Press gets the candidate's name and message out to the uneducated masses. I am guessing Howard would rather get his message across by the means of indoctrination camps or propaganda.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Impeach This!

Another day and true to form someone, "famous," goes and says something stupid. This time the honor goes to Congressman and lame Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich. What did he go off and do this time you ask? He has filed articles of impeachment against Vice President Dick Cheney. With less than 18 months until the Presidential election I would describe this move as stupid, ignorant, or dumb.

What would be accomplished by not having Dick Cheney around? Would there be one less, "liar," in Washington D.C.? A town which is well known to be full of them? Will this move cause our troops to come home any faster? Did I miss the part in the Iraq Study Group's final analysis where the recommended to impeach the VP?

Perhaps an
unpaid member of Kucinich's campaign staff can comment on how throwing half of the administration into disarray will benefit this nation during this difficult period of time.

Having only raised
$344,891 for his White House campaign, Dennis may want to spend some of his free time trying to figure out the fact if no one gives you money to run for President that then means no one wants you to be President.

The End is Near

I hate to say it. I can't believe I am thinking it. I really can not believe I am about to write it. I actually agree with Rosie O'Donnell.

That statement may be a sign of the apocalypse.

What I agree with Rosie on is the oh-so lame idea of using 1 square of TP when using the bathroom which was the brainchild of Sheryl Crow. I am pretty sure that we all can preserve the freedom to use TP as we wish without government control or oversight.

If an issue such as this can bring us together, maybe we all can unite to solve some of our other more pressing societal needs like:

Placing a drain at the bottom of the ocean to prevent rising sea levels.

Moving the Earth further away from the Sun so it will not be as warm.

Opening a window to outer space. This will let some of the hot air out.

Oh gosh, there is so much we can do if we all come together.

Monday, April 23, 2007

"What, You Don't Know About the Three Seashells?"

I am not always sure what is in the air in California. Click Here When Sheryl Crow recommends that only 1 square of TP should be used at any one time except for "pesky" situations where 2 to 3 could be required.

Uh what?

I can see it now... TP actively police roaming our communities checking our septic tanks for illegal bundles of used TP. Will we also have to file for a permit to go over the 1 square limit? Also I imagine 1 square of TP will grow from its current size to somewhere around 24"x24".

WTF Award for 2006

Even though it is late I need to give credit where credit is due.

In 2006 Mary and I went to a Long John Silver's which was out in West County. I really haven't been to one in such a long time so I insisted that we stop and eat. We parked and as we were walking in a sign on the door read, "WE WILL BE CLOSING EARLY FOR A WEDDING RECEPTION."

We went in and ordered our meals. In the dinning area there were two women setting all sorts of white fu fu things on the tables for the reception.

We ate fairly quickly so as to avoid the reception crowd. As we were leaving one of the ladies attempted to place an empty 1 gallon milk container under the A&W Root Beer dispenser and quickly opened the spigot. Root beer sprayed everywhere and I walked on out.

So to the unknown family who held their wedding reception at the local Long Johns this WTF award is for you!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Those Poor Politicans

How can it be that the almost 600 men and women of the United States Congress live in a perpetual state of being appalled, shocked, dismayed, outraged and on and on and on...

Here is how I feel about their state of mind. I am bored. I bet the press is bored as well. Imagine you are a reporter covering Congress and you get to interview a fairly important Congressman, but the only thing you get from him is that he is appalled or shocked or whatever on 8 different issues at the same time.

Really I can't remember when I was appalled about anything. I was shocked on 9-11. I was dismayed on how Sanjina stayed on American Idol as long as he did.

To freshen up the talking points of Capitol Hill perhaps they can use the adjectives to really show their true state of mind.

Bored, sleepy, confused, baffled, hysterical, hungry, hung over, distracted, etc...

If you can think any more adjectives leave it in the comment box.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The 400 Dollar Doo?!?

Wait one minute here. Yeah I picked on Edwards for having a McMansion and sorry for assuming that he lived on a square lot (See previous post and comments.) Now I get to pick on his habit of paying $400 for at least two styling sessions from a Beverly Hills Salon. Here are some questions that need to be asked.

1) Is North Carolina so bad that Edwards can not find a decent barber in the entire state?

2) Why Beverly Hills? What is so awesome about a salon that Edwards would fly almost 3000 miles to have his hair coiffed?

3) Why did he not just add a salon on to his 6 million dollar home? Ray can you answer that one for me?

4) What kind of service do you get for $400? Do unicorns prance around to the sound of opera music being sung live by Plácido Domingo, José Carreras and Luciano Pavarotti while angels part and cut your hair?

Now pardon moi for not having the type of expendable income to drop 4 bones on a cut. If I did have that kind of change I still would opt out for something a little less expensive.

The Days After

It was Sunday when I signed up as a member of the NRA. Less than 24 hours later Seung-Hui Cho destroyed the lives of many as well as the feeling of safety for thousands of students and parents around the nation. The Second Amendment and gun control, which has been on the political back burner for the last several years has now been thrust front and center into the American conscious.

The only person who knew what was going on Monday was Seung-Hui Cho. I can not imagine a person's life to be so bad that in his rage that the decision to end the life of so many people was made.

Now here comes the ramifications.

Even yesterday, Tuesday the 17th the gun control advocates were out preaching the evils of lax gun laws in this country. Seung-Hui Cho used a Glock 19 handgun and a Walther .22-caliber handgun on that fateful day. These are both pistols not assault rifles. These were also legally paid for by the soon to be killer. He wasn't a criminal or a person who warranted suspicion from the gun shop owner. I can not think of any law, if enacted earlier would have stopped these transactions from occurring.

I will now take you back to Sunday the 15th. I went to the National NRA convention which was held here in St. Louis, that is when I became a one year member to the NRA. To be honest I will admit my knowledge of firearms is limited in both the technical and hands on aspects of the field. I grew up firing BB guns and then .22 caliber rifles in Boy Scouts. A few years ago I was able to go to a free trap shoot and try my skills at the range. To be more honest I was never a very good shot above the BB gun level. I will tell you that I was a little nervous about the show, mainly because of my lack of experience. I really didn't know what to do or where to begin. The first gun I picked up was probably the smallest gun there, a single shot .22 pistol. It is about the size of a CD and pretty lame compared to pretty much anything else at the show. From there I gradually moved my way up the line and towards the end I felt very comfortable with picking up and checking out even the largest of the display firearms.

Now why should you care about this story of mine? First do not be afraid of guns and do not let people lead you to believe you should. You can be intimidated by guns more for the fact that you probably have never been around someone who either used or collected firearms. Second the more than 60,000 people who came to the NRA convention are not the people you need to worry about. These folk love firearms as well as the fact we all have a constitutional right to own any number of firearms. As much as the press will defend the right to free speech, NRA members are equally devoted to defend the right to bear arms. If you haven't gone to a major gun show you should. Talk to the people there and ask them why the 2nd amendment is important. You may get several different answers, but you are hearing it from the source without someone else "interpreting" the issue. After talking check out a firearm. Don't worry the guns won't bite.

This will not be the last discussion on firearms on this blog. However it is a starting point. You need to learn more about firearms and just saying, "Guns are bad," does not count anymore. As I learn more I will let you know what I find out.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Cranky Neighbors

When I first read the story of Elizabeth Edward’s allegedly mean gun-toting neighbor, my first thoughts of an old man storming out of his front door and charging the interlopers which had come into his driveway.

Woe is me to assume that the Edward’s actually live in a “house” which lies on a road with a house directly across from it. John and Elizabeth have taken up 102 acres (the Vatican is 108.7 acres) of property and have placed a quaint 28,200sqft abode in the middle of the sprawling landscape.

Elizabeth worries that her children could wander into the offending neighbor’s drive and be assaulted by the cranky old man with a gun. Just one thing, depending on where the house sits on the Edward’s property her children would have to walk at least 1.5 to 3.4 miles through the densely wooded countryside to make it to the property line.

Now Monty Johnson, the afore mentioned cranky neighbor who had the unfortunate luck to have the Edwards move “next door” had lived on his families land for decades. Quietly not doing much of anything to mention Monty pretty much minded his own business. Now he has to face the reality that his property taxes are going up due to the fact that a building worth at least 6 million dollars has been built in semi-close proximity to his mobile home. Perhaps Monty could build a golf course, Ritz Carlton hotel or an exact reproduction of the Taj Mahal to better suit the changing neighborhood. That may entice the Edward’s over for tea and crumpets.

I would suggest to Monty that he stick it out for 8 months or so. Then he can have the satisfaction that John Edwards never made it through the Democratic primary and as a goodwill gesture Monty should install a tissue dispenser at the front of his driveway in the likely event of John or Elizabeth needing some.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

My Thoughts on Cliamte Change

Since the issue was thrust into the limelight from Al Gore’s Oscar win I have been meditating on this global warming thing for the last few weeks. This issue has so many facets that it is tough to grapple, but the outcome(s) are easy to visualize. Arid deserts where there were once lush forests, cities flooded and decimation of populations are just a few of the calamities that we all assume would result form global warming. I felt it was time to throw my two cents into this penny pie.

This issue does not have one cause as it does not have one resolution. How do you quantify the problem? Why must we fault any particular industry? Why should you conserve energy?

There are hundreds of thousands if not millions of variables that enter into the atmospheric equation. Number one is the Sun, number two would be the ocean, number three would be the land itself this goes on and on until it gets down to me exhaling every few seconds. The sun generates 4 X 10 to the 26th power of wattage. If that number gives you a headache you can equate one second of the Sun’s output to the yearly output of 2.5 billion major power plants. Would anyone say that a single percentage change up or down would cause havoc with the Earth’s environment. When the oceans cover 75 percent of the planet they will drive the atmosphere in any direction they please. If a giant volcano erupts you may not hear it, but you may feel its effects on cooling the atmosphere. Humans affect their environment, but does all the human activity on this planet equal the effects of the sun or ocean or a single volcano? It is impossible to quantify, but I’ll say no.

Where we lay blame is interesting. Cars and power plants are easy targets for environmentalist to pick on. Cars are great things. I get into my new 2007 Dodge Nitro SUV drive to work (5 miles) work for eight hours drive home and relax for the night. It also allows me to drive to my Parent’s house on the weekend (about 25 miles.) Do I cause global warming? Maybe, but I am living the way I want to live. I want a reliable car to get me to work and home on time and without the real possibility of the car breaking down on me. Mary and I bought the Nitro to accommodate our lifestyle and to also be a safe and easy car to access for our children when we have some. I drive the distance to my parent’s house because I want to see them for a few hours at least once a week.

I love power! You and I use it every second of the day. Power runs my alarm clock, keeps my food cold or hot, washes my clothes, lights my way at night, runs my laptop, and most importantly keeps my iPod running. Let me tell you all a dirty little secret of energy you can not produce or expend energy without making a byproduct. Blaming a coal fired power plant for emissions is like blaming a baker for emitting doughnuts form his bakery. I don’t care where power comes from it can be wind, coal, nuclear, fuel cell or hamster wheel. I demand that power is there all the time for me to use and that it is affordable. If you have a problem about where your power comes from then stop using power altogether. Go use a wind up alarm clock eat MRE’s all the time, wash your clothes on a rock by the river, use candles at night and don’t forget to hand crank your laptop (See Below) for power.

As much as I love power I do like to conserve on power. One of the first things I bought when I purchased my condo was a thermostat. I was nice and very expensive. I have also used copious amounts of Great Stuff. This is the ooze that fills in cracks around anything. I have used 3.5 cans of this stuff in a 975sqft condo. Needless to say there were a lot of cracks to fill. I have also weather stripped my doors to fill in the wide spots. I have also had a fluorescent light bulb in my bedside lamp for over 7 years and counting. Now why did I do all of these things? It wasn’t for the fear of an ocean lapping at my door tomorrow it was for saving money on my electric and gas bills. This rather selfish motivation does help the environment, but these acts are not done for the environment. Could I do more? Sure I could drop thousands of dollars and buy solar panels and wire my house up to the Sun, but I can’t afford it.

I hope you enjoyed my tirade. As serious as this issue may seem, none of us will die tomorrow of global warming. The seas will not rise to cover cities nor will our forests die and fade away to dust for a very long time if ever. You should conserve where you can, but not at the cost of not living the way you want to live. Most importantly tell your children that they are safe and not to fear and you should sleep well at night for living a life well lived.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Going to San Juan


18° 31.28’N

065° 55.52’ W

Welcome to Puerto Rico! I will say this since if you should visit this island you will not hear it from the locals. My few hours in PR were OK (generally.) As I mentioned before the locals don’t seem to care that a shipload of fat Yanqui tourists pulled to shore with a pirate’s booty of credit cards and greenbacks in hand. Mary and I walked up to the old fort to check it out. Mary could have cared less, but I thought it was very cool. On the way back we stopped in Café Berlin, a nice and tidy Internet café and restaurant. The waiter was very nice (the only nice local we met BTW) even though we only wanted bottled water and a coke in a can he was happy to oblige. We left the café and walked the narrow streets going from shop to shop looking at the wares. We were never greeted nor we felt welcome anywhere we went. We purchased the obligatory plastic touristy crap i.e. magnets, small picture frames and other doodads. We made our way back to the ship and both agreed we won’t be going back.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

A Conversation with the Palms Casino

I wanted to go to a rather hip and cool place in Las Vegas called the Ghost Bar. Here is my email conversation with the reservation desk for the bar.

-----Original Message-----
From: Chris C. []
Sent: Thursday, February 09, 2006 6:31 PM
To: Ghostbar Reservations
Subject: Reservations

I will be visiting LV from 2-22 thru 3-1.

I would like to request a reservation for 2-24 or 2-25.

Thank you,

Chris C.

-----Original Message-----
From: Ghostbar Reservations []
Sent: Friday, February 10, 2006 1:48 PM
To: Chris C.
Subject: RE: Reservations

How many people would be in the party?

-----Original Message-----
From: Chris C. []
Sent: Friday, February 10, 2006 6:44 PM
To: Ghostbar Reservations
Subject: RE: Reservations


-----Original Message-----
From: Ghostbar Reservations Sent: Saturday, February 11, 2006 12:28 PM
To: Chris C.
Subject: RE: Reservations

The only way to get on the guest list and bypass the line at the Ghostbar is to reserve a table. The following information is only prices. It does not guarantee a table. If you are interested in reserving a table after going over the prices, then we may check for availability at that time. A table for 2 requires a 2 bottle minimum, and our bottles start at $325. This reservation would take care of the cover charge as well as access to the front of the line for your party. Thank you!

Christmas Lights Cause Problems

March, 24 2007

Pucky Huddle, Missouri

Community Holiday Lights Cause Problems

Area residents have become concerned about the city's holiday decorations, not that the display violates the fundamentals of church and state, rather that it is now May and the display has not been taken down yet.

Fred Buckner, Mayor of this small hamlet gave a simple reason for maintaining the display far past the holidays. "So many area residents still have their lights up, we felt that to save money we put the lights up and leave them there." Mayor Buckner is correct. A short drive away is the largest mobile home park in town and several of the prefab homes have large multi colored lights up and several faded Santas can be seen in the yards.

The Mayor continued to say that the cost of taking down the lights would cost about $17.74 in labor costs and storing the lights in a reused paper box takes up valuable space in the stately town hall building.

However, the display could have a greater detrimental affect other than aesthetic. According to resident and avid bird watcher Floyd Bailey sees the situation another way. "This town is smack dab in the middle of the migration route for the Greater Northwestern Speckler and having these lights up during the migration season could cause the birds to fly off course ." Mr. Bailey has complained to the Mayor and City Council, but with no action from Town Hall Floyd has taken his complaints to the State EPA. "If they [EPA] don't do anything I'll go all the way to the White House!"

It may take some time to resolve this impasse and there are only 2 weeks until the migration season begins for the Speckler.


This story is set in the Warhammer 40,000 universe think of it as D&D in space. If you are very familiar with any details that I may have omitted, please let me know.

The sky, covered with the dull gray clouds which hung low upon the tortured land. Rising from the scorched landscape were pillars of noxious black smoke which emanated from the shattered hulks of tanks and other vehicles of war. For miles around, all which were once living were now dead, only one edifice was still standing, the last fortress of the Imperium and it's time was quickly running out. The empire had chosen this planet as a foothold to begin a campaign to wipe out the marauding Orcs in this sector, however the empire had failed to gain any type of ground here facing unanticipated tactics and overwhelming Orcish forces and now was the time for the survivors to flee and relinquish this planet to the Orc hoards.

The lone keep was now surrounded by the massive Orc army. Thousands of the green-skinned, squat and muscular humanoids had surrounded the keep. Armed with crude yet deadly weapons the Orcs advanced on the fortress. Orcs tactics always use superior numbers to overwhelm and disrupt a more superior force such as the Space Marines and this time proved to be no different. The final assault could not be any fiercer, like a hammer striking an anvil this was the final blow for those humans who remain. Deafening artillery barrages rained down upon the massive stone walls the fort which rendered massive slabs of slate gray rock from the sides and sent them crashing down to the blackened earth.

At the titanic gates of the fortress a mass of the green-skinned soldiers surrounded a massive electric arc generator their orders were to break through the massive 20 inch composite alloy gates. Great arcs of electricity were leaping from arcane siege machine and coursing through the imposing barrier. The gates glowed orange, casting the group of Orcs in a strange and artificial light. Small chunks of white hot molten steel had already fallen from the doors and larger gaps have already begun to appear as the doors started to sag from the weight which they were unable to support any longer. The process to take down the barrier takes time, which the Orcs have. Those few inside, however their time will soon expire.

Inside the fortress, the scene was of desolation, nearly all of the surviving Marines had been evacuated to the safety of outer space by means of the few remaining Thunderhawk gunships. The massive fortress walls echoed the din and chaos emanating from beyond the protection of the keep. Heavy machinery, massive cargo containers and other implements of war were strewn around the grounds, left where they were when the solders were told to cut and retreat.
The rapidly dwindling number remaining Space Marines, clad in their power armor, were quickly crowding into the precious few lifeboats to take them away from the gibbering hoards of Orcs who were almost through the gate.

Alpha platoon was assigned to be the last unit to leave, their job of making sure all those who remained made it into the gunships had been completed. Isaac Tromball, the unit commander, waited uncomfortably at the front of the gunship by the glowing communications panel awaiting for the go ahead to make the final egress. Huddled behind him was the remainder of his unit, worn, weary and dejected they all knew that this battle was lost and they waited quietly to return to the mother-ship to recuperate and to fight another day.

Sergeant Alexander was standing at the open bay door of the gunship. At 6 feet tall in his dark green, heavily pitted suit of power armor he was an imposing sentinel at the rear entry of the escape ship. His closely trimmed black hair showed some hints of gray and for being 35 years of age his face carried a look of a man much older. Sgt Alexander commanded a great deal of respect from his troops and superiors. Slung across his broad shoulders was his trusted bolter. Scanning the yard with his green eyes Alex looked for anyone who may have been missed on the final sweep of the base. Alexander watched as the final two Thunderhawks filled with troopers. As the ships were fully embarked the rear ramps closed and main thrusters began to power up with a roar. With a salute from pilots to Alexander, the two craft lifted off in a cloud of dust and with a deafening howl and began to make a quick, steep ascent into the sky. Within moments they had disappeared into the gray clouds and the rumble of their engines slowly faded away.
The sergeant brought his eyes back down to view the stark and empty marching field, he felt upset at giving this day to the mindless hoards outside the gate, but he knew the battle for now was finished and that he was of no use dead to the Imperium , later he would exact a punishing revenge for today's loss. He brought his gaze around to the gate which lay a scant hundred meters away from the ship. He was taken aback when he saw heavily armed Orcs pouring through gate and spreading out to take positions in the empty keep. Alexander turned and shouted down to Isaac.

"They have broken through the gate Commander! Large numbers of Orcs are approaching our position." Alexander said in a loud sturdy voice.

"Come on…" muttered the Commander under his breath. "Where is that final order?" Isaac turned slightly to see that his unit had all turned their attention to the open bay door to try to get a glimpse of the oncoming wave Orcs.

"Commander Tromball, please come in!" squawked the communications panel.
"Tromball speaking, awaiting orders sir." He muttered calmly. As he wiped sweat from his brow.

"Return to the mother-ship immediately your mission is complete."
Isaac hurriedly walked the few paces to the cockpit and stood behind the two pilots of the gunship.

"Get us the hell out of her pilot! Return to the command-ship."

"Yes sir!" Replied the pilot who immediately began to power up the ship for takeoff. The squat nimble craft began to lift off the large metal landing pad and turned slightly to gain the correct trajectory for the flight out.

Alexander stepped back from the breach and hit the red lever which powered up the hydraulics to close the bay door. A low whirring sound began to emanate from the wall panels of the ship and the two gleaming chrome columns which connected to the rear hatch began to disappear into the sides of the ship. The gunship was now about twenty feet off the deck and Alexander looked out into the expansive courtyard which was quickly filling with the Orc hoards. From the mass of evil a great orange flash erupted and from that light a slender cylindrical missile shot fourth at great speed towards the Thunderhawk.

"Incoming!" shouted Alexander to his troops. The sergeant turned away from the half closed rear door and began to reach for a safe handhold, but before he could grab hold of anything the missile was already upon them. The missile detonated prematurely before hitting the gunship, a direct hit would have surly brought down the craft, but the near miss caused a shockwave which violently shook the ship and caused it to momentarily lose horizontal control. The rear of the Thunderhawk dove down quickly and Alexander was unable to make it to a hand-hold and he slid feet first on his chest towards the rear opening. Alexander's armor made an awful screeching and scraping noise as he slid on the cold metal floor and fell through the half closed bay door and to the landing pad below.

Inside the cockpit the pilot and co-pilot were wrestling with the controls to regain command of the ship. The two finally leveled off the craft and began to throttle up to extricate themselves from the quickly deteriorating situation. From the rear shouts arose from the assault squad as they had just seen their leader fall from the safety of the ship to the horrors which lay below. A marine shouted down towards the cockpit for the commander and pilots to hear.

"Sarge has fallen from the ship turn around to pick him up!"

The two pilots turned to Tromball for orders as the ship was begging to climb rapidly away from the keep.

"Turn back and pick up our man. I won't leave him to die at the hands of those monsters." Tromball said coldly. Immediately the pilot threw the gunship into a bone crushing turn, they were going back into the fray.

Falling from the ship, Alexander could hear the wind rushing by his ears and he saw the ship racing away from him and vanishing into the low gray clouds. Immediately from behind the ground rushed up to meet Alex and he landed hard on his back next to the landing platform his impact causing a thick plume of tan dust rise around him. Alexander rolled over with a groan and got to his hands and knees and brought himself up to his feet. When he was finally standing, in a near daze he realized that he was far, far from alone.

Thirty feet from Alex stood a perimeter of heavily armed Orcs standing tightly shoulder to shoulder and scores deep. Many of the Orcs were beaten and bruised from the final assault on the keep. The majority of the pack had massive wounds that had not been treated and were matted with the sickly green blood and festering with flies. A rancid stench purveyed itself around Alex, the common smell of Orcs mixing with the thick smell of death. The Orcs looked dumbfounded at what had fallen from the sky, like slack jawed children they seemed incapable to understand what just happened right in front of them. Sarge scanned the motionless mob of toothy cretins as he was wondering what he would do next. One of the largest and more ferocious looking of the Orc soldiers stepped forward and slowly drew out a massive gleaming blade and pointed it towards Alexander.

"Tonight wez eats humunz!" the Orc spat out. "Usz ur bladz on him!" Alexander witnessed dozens of blades being drawn out from the crowd of soldiers and one by one the Orc troops began to run towards him and they snarled and howled with an raw animalistic rage. Sarge gritted his teeth and took up his bolter, pulled back the bolt and leveled the gun at the nearest approaching Orc.

"You will work for your dinner tonight you bastards." He let loose automatic fire upon his target and the soldier's head peeled away as dozens of bullets ripped through the skull. In unison, the Orcs let out an even more ferocious roar and all began to charge on Alexander.

Sarge kept up the intense fire sweeping his bolter back and fourth knocking down the approaching hoard. Above the roar of the advancing hoard came the high pitched screech of the Thunderhawk engines. Swooping down upon the mass of tightly packed soldiers the auto cannons of the gunship erupted to life shooting massive bolts of energy into the ranks of Orcs felling dozens of the retched beasts with every salvo. The craft rapidly approached to Sarge's position slowing down and hovering just a few scant meters off the deck. Rotating around the craft's rear platform was down and upon the ramp stood Sarge's platoon bristling with bolters and heavy weapons. Once the rear of the ship faced the Orcs the soldiers opened a blaze of intense fire into the dazed survivors of the first round of blasts and laid waste to the unfortunate souls who had not yet died. From the deck the hand of a soldier reached down towards Alex.

"Grab on Sarge!" came a voice. Alexander locked his hand around the man's wrist and immediately began to be lifted up into the safety of the ship. Once Sarge was half on the rear door many other hands grabbed his armor and pulled him completely upon the floor.

"Lets go!" Shouted the platoon. Tromball relayed the command to the pilots and the ship once again began to ascend from the scene of devastation. Still sitting on the floor, looking out onto the courtyard of the shattered fortress through the closing ramp, exhausted and breathing heavily, Alexander saw a hulking green silhouette appear in the ship's opening. One of the biggest Orcs Sarge had ever seen had jumped up and had grabbed hold of the edge of the ramp and reaching out with its immense clawed hand the massive beast grabbed the ankle of Alexander. The huge Orc roared mightily and began to pull Alexander out toward the opening. Before the other soldiers could react Alex swung his bolter around and placed the muzzle of the firearm against the lower jaw of the menacing Orc. With a loud crack one round was expended shattering the lower jowl of the beast and spraying it's green blood across the crew compartment. Screaming wildly, the Orc released it's iron grasp of Sarge and clutched what remained of it's mutilated visage, slipping off the deck the soldier disappeared over the edge as the beast was wailing in pain.

The rear door finally closed itself and those in the crew are a could feel the acceleration of the ship and steep climb away from the tortured planet. Within minutes they were all in the safety of space heading towards the command ship which will return them to the home base of the Space Marines.

Sgt Alexander sat on the narrow bench at the far end of the gunship by the exit ramp. Worn, weary, but alive he could not help but think that what his commander risked in coming back for him in such an extreme situation. Rising to his feet Sgt walked past the seated Marines, who just before leaving were dejected and in low spirits, were now quietly happy and proud that they had rescued their leader from the mob. Sgt gave his rescuers a grateful nod of his head as he passed his troops. Walking on he continued toward the front of the ship. Passing the communications hub and entering into the cockpit area he saw Tromball, standing with his arms stretched across the two side by side seats of the pilots. The commander was slightly hunched over and looking out the front windscreen at the command ship which was quickly growing larger and large in the field of view.

"Commander." Alexander said and saluted simultaneously. Tromball turned his attention from the ship and turned and walked up to Alexander and saluted in return.

"At ease Sergeant," Tromball said with a easy tone in his voice, "You did well back there in the courtyard."

"I would like to thank you sir," Alex replied, "I know you did not have to return for me and…"

At that point Tromball raised his armored hand to stop Alexander.

"I do not leave any of my men behind. That wretched planet is not worth the life of one more soul if I can help it." Alex paused to think for an adequate response. "Do not feel that you need to thank me, I know you would have done the same for any of your soldiers as well. Return to the crew compartment, we will soon dock and depart for home. You and your men will be debriefed and allow to rest before the next campaign begins."

"Yes sir." Sgt said and saluted again walked out of the cockpit.

Tromball returned to his position between the two pilots. Now the massive light gray command ship loomed large in front of them and the landing dock and navigation lights flashing around it's perimeter were clearly visible in front of them.. Tromball knew that someday the Space Marines will return to this planet better prepared and out to even this score. For now, however he carried with him the satisfaction of not leaving with a loss of a man, but a with a gain of a great future leader.

Ah the Glory of a Communist Factory

The Clinton Admn. Policy on Terrorism

The Clinton Admn. Policy on Terrorism
Credit: Diana Walker